Virtual Voice Studio as the Narrator for my Series

When selling books at the Albuquerque ComicCon, eleven months ago, customers asked if my books were available in audio. I would reply, “No. It’s too expensive to pay a narrator, and I’ve already spent so much for editing and covers.”

I did consider that it would be fantastic to have them available to listen to. I also have some friends and acquaintances who are unable to read print books. Not long after, I was notified that my books were eligible to be produced with Virtual Voice Studio to be available on Amazon/Audible. I tried it out, but had reservations about the quality of the narration. It sounded too mechanical. I also considered that using a computer-generated narration went against my values because I do not want to see anyone lose potential work to AI.

While debating it, listening occasionally to another chapter, then deciding against it, I conducted some research. I found a video by an author who had tips on how to use the Virtual Voice Studio that was immensely helpful. In it, I learned how changing punctuation and spelling could alter the sound of the narration. I also looked up the author’s books and listened to samples of their work to find that they sounded pretty good.

The Virtual Voice Studio offers many voices to choose from, and I had narrowed my choice to three female voices. Out of the three, I finally picked the one that sounded the most like what I thought my main character might sound like. (Think Clark Griffin from The 100 television show.)

There were some issues I had to remedy, but I gradually built a repertoire of tricks to address them. There is a way to add pauses into the text, but it sounded glitchy and unnatural. The solution I found was to add commas in the places I wanted a slight pause, and it worked perfectly. When I needed a longer pause, an ellipsis did the job. There were some words where it paused too long between words, so I’d connect those words together. For example, when we say “comic book,” we say it as a single word. It would say it with a pause between, sounding like “comic…book” when I needed it to be “comicbook.”

It struggled with some character names and a few common words, but I was able to type in new pronunciations. One odd one was that it pronounced “does” like the plural of dough: “doughs” with a long “o.” I changed all instances of the word to “duzz” and it fixed it.

Listening to my stories also made every error and typo super evident, so I fixed those. It also became evident that I needed to shorten words into contractions, especially in dialogue. I also needed to combine words. For example: “What do you want to do?” sounded very mechanical and wordy, so it needed to be “Whatcha wanna do?”

Once I got the hang of editing and figured out ways to improve the delivery, I put in the time to carefully review all four books, and I think the end product is worth listening to. If you look up my series on Amazon or Audible, I’d recommend listening to the samples for books two, three, or four instead of the first book because there is more action at the beginning of each of those books.

This January, when selling books from my booth at the comic convention in Albuquerque, I will be pleased to have a printed QR code to send customers to the audiobooks. (I have included links below!)

Thanks for reading and/or listening!

Here is my series on Amazon.

And here is Homeworld on Audible.

Thanks again, and happy listening! -Philip

AI as a Tool for my Cover Designer and the Cover Design Process

Working with a cover designer is one of the many tasks a self-published author undertakes to get their book ready to publish. The cover-design process was slightly different for my fourth book than it was for the others because we had a much longer email conversation before she produced any concept art. We bounced ideas back and forth until the concept of a cover was distilled into something better than I could have imagined. By the end of the process, my cover designer, Rebekah Haskell of Vivid Covers, produced a cover that we are both excited about.

For my first book, I gave Rebekah the gist of the story and she surprised me with this cover. It gave me goosebumps, and I signed off on it right away.

For Revolution World, she also surprised me, producing these gorgeous swirls to which she later added the black hole at my request because part of the story involves escaping a newly forming black hole.

For Godworld, I had seen images of a hand in space and knew that’s what I wanted so she created this:

I had found the font for the titles, which is called Ancient Geek, and using it for all of the covers was a no-brainer, but she picked out the font for my name, which I loved when I first saw it and knew it was perfect.

To begin the process for the fourth cover, I gave her a list of all the possible elements, which included robots, dinosaurs, a meteorite hitting Earth, a spaceship, and mechanical scout suits (which are similar to the load-lifters in Aliens) knowing that she couldn’t use every single one. We discussed using a view from space as the asteroid crashes into Earth, thinking a space-scape could tie in with the other books. She thought, however, that for a time-travel story, it would be better to have the juxtaposition of something high-tech and something from the past. (Like a robot and a dinosaur!)

A stock photo from my search for asteroids hitting Earth:

We scrapped the space-scene idea, and I considered that a robot and a dinosaur facing each other, nose-to-nose, would be neat, but she thought the composition would be problematic because of the space on the page. It was way better to have one in the foreground and one in the background.

I began searching for images of dinosaurs, looking up the types I had used in the story, but I couldn’t find any that I liked. The characters have run-ins with a herd of long-necked Apatosaurus and with Utahraptors, which are like Velociraptors but larger. The little heads of the Apatosaurus just weren’t foreboding and Utahraptors were too birdlike with their beady eyes.

At this stage, my cover designer turned to AI to produce images of “dinosaurs and robots.” There were some funny results, but there was one that stood out that we decided would be a great template for the overall composition. I also liked how the dinosaur (although not paleontologist-approved) had the looming quality of a massive long-necked dinosaur but with the head of a carnivorous predator. I decided that I liked it despite the scientific inaccuracies. Using that image as inspiration, my cover designer produced a unique dinosaur that I liked because it looked kind, thoughtful, and wise but also menacing. (After all, its eggs were abducted, and it was destined to die in the impending asteroid bombardment.)

These are two of the AI-generated images. AI couldn’t grasp the concept of producing an image of a dinosaur and a robot but instead created a robotic dinosaur. The second is the AI image I liked most.

Here is her rough painting:

And here is the finished cover! I absolutely love the robot cradling an egg!

I’m in love with how the cover turned out! During my next comic convention, if anyone asks what kind of dinosaur it is, I’m going to say it’s an Apatosaurus-Rex or a Made-up-asaurus. The truth is no one really knows what dinosaurs actually looked like. Here’s an example of what a reconstructed image from this skull would look like if we didn’t know what a hippopotamus looked like:

Thanks to Rebekah Haskell of Vivid Covers for the gorgeous cover!!! She has written a book about navigating cover design here: Cover Your Book

The new novel is available December 1st, 2024. Here is where to order Blast Jump in Time!

Thanks for reading,

-Philip

Resolutions to Help Save the World

It’s the middle of January, and while we’re settling into a new year, I wish to take advantage of this season as a reason to share some ways in which you can make an impact to save the world.

At the beginning of my book series, the state of the world overwhelms my main character, Abigail, and she feels helpless to do anything about it. She takes matters into her own super-powered hands and drastically turns the world in a new direction. We, on the other hand, will not utilize valuable technological information broadcast from an alien world or brainwash the President of the United States to initiate change. We can, however, make a difference, and here is a short list of ways in which you can help to save the world or at least help to make it a better place. Some are non-profit organizations you can chip in to support, and some are businesses that provide products while also contributing to charitable work.

1. 8 Billion Trees plants trees which are the real-life superheroes of the planet. This subscription is a no-brainer for me. There is too much carbon in the atmosphere; trees remove carbon from the atmosphere. Therefore, planting more trees is a brilliant solution to ensure climate stability. Forests also happen to be the habitat for animal life. Click here then read to the bottom to sign up!

2. Charity Water is a non-profit organization that helps to provide clean water for people who struggle to access this basic necessity. They partner with experienced local organizations that build sustainable community-owned water projects in countries worldwide. Here is a site where you can read articles and here is where to donate.

3. Who Gives a Crap is a company that makes toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues from sustainable sources. This company produces great products with zero deforestation. No more Sam’s Club toilet paper for us. We began with a subscription but switched to ordering products on our own schedule because we use tissues, paper towels, and toilet paper at different rates. It’s super convenient to order online and their products are a pleasure to use. Fifty percent of their profits go directly to their charity partners, who work in water, hygiene, and sanitation. By using their great products, you can help others gain access to clean water. Shop here!

4. Earth Breeze ships liquid-less laundry detergent directly to your home. And they use zero plastic in their packaging. In this case, we use a subscription because it’s easy to calculate how much we use. Their detergent sheets are a great alternative to goopy laundry soap in plastic jugs. They plant trees and donate loads of laundry to those in need. Here are some of their stories.

5. Become a Sierra Club member. The Sierra Club advocates on your behalf to help protect wild places and endangered species, keep our air and water clean, ensure a clean energy future, curb climate change, and keep pressure on politicians and corporations to ensure safe and healthy communities. Every three months, I receive the Rio Grande Sierran, which covers the issues and accomplishments for the New Mexico chapter. They also send a gorgeous calendar every year. Be a champion for the environment—donate today!

6. Cariuma is a shoe company that crafts sneakers with a green conscience. They source all of their natural materials in an ecologically sustainable way and run ethical factories. Like some of the above-mentioned companies, they do more than make excellent products; they plant trees—two trees for every pair of shoes they sell. I’ve skateboarded in the camel suede Vallely Pros for over a year, and they are standing up well and look really good—granted I’m doing fewer kickflips than I used to. I’ve also never received more compliments on any other pair of shoes. While Cariuma makes outstanding shoes for skateboarders, they also make sneakers for everyone and are doing their part to improve the world. Shop here!

Please click on any of the above links. I know no one is perfect and that no single person can solve every problem, but all of the above businesses and organizations seem to be easy remedies for some larger issues. Also, please drop a comment if there is something that you do to help save the world that I can adopt myself.

Have a great 2024!

-Philip

WINTER COMIC CON 2023

(Sorry for the massive delay in posting this. I’ve been very busy with the editing process of my third book, and work… and life.)

Since I visited my first Comic Con, a few years ago, I’ve considered the idea of selling books at an event. (Scroll way down to see a story about it!) I debated applying to be a vendor at the winter Comic Convention in Albuquerque by writing a pros-and-cons list and calculating the number of books I would need to sell to offset the price of an Artist Alley vendor booth and was torn as to whether I should commit. By the time I pursued it, the booths had been sold out. I considered it fate and sighed with relief, knowing it would have entailed extensive time and effort, and besides, the most prudent course would be to focus on work in my shop, which would provide a guaranteed income. Spending three days in Albuquerque would also undoubtedly cut into fun time at my local ski hill.

A week after I had found out all booths were sold out, I received an email from the organizer informing me of a cancelation. The message flashed into my inbox late in the evening, right before I closed my computer. The timing was perfect because I could mull it over and reply in the morning. I debated the pros and cons like before and went to bed with an evenly split decision.

I woke in the night. As I shuffled to the bathroom, I thought to myself, Oh yeah, I’m supposed to decide if I want to be a vendor. As I settled my head back onto my pillow, I asked myself, What do I really want to do? And the answer came clearly to me: Yes, I want to do it!

Fast forward to Friday, January 13th. I had made all the preparations, ordered books, fabricated my curtain stand, picked out fabric for my backdrop, and ordered poster-sized vinyl prints of my covers that hung behind me. I stacked up small piles of books (my first book and its sequel) on the table and laid out my free custom-printed bookmarks. On my table sat a Boba Fett sculpture I had welded a couple of weeks earlier—a raffle prize to entice people to sign up for my author newsletter.

For the first couple of hours, I was pretty sure I had made a monumental mistake. As I sat there, I couldn’t imagine a single passerby purchasing a book. I discovered that opening night typically comprised a browsing crowd, and many would wait to make purchases until later in the weekend. I did eventually sell a few and pitched my story to many, which required less effort and was more enjoyable than I had imagined. Once the traffic picked up, the worry that I didn’t belong evaporated.

Tending my booth kept me perfectly busy all weekend, talking to readers and selling books. I connected with a few fellow writers, who strangely thought I was someone who might offer sound advice, which I happily gave to the best of my ability. Connecting with so many people was the highlight of my weekend—not to mention the front-row seat to the amazing parade of cosplayers. I found myself perfectly content to sit and watch and occasionally engage with visitors to my booth.

After the weekend, and on my first day back to work in my one-car garage shop, making the art stands I’ve fabricated for two decades, I realized my job wasn’t anything like selling books at a comic convention. No one dressed as one of my favorite characters marched by as I set to work, and as much as my clientele appreciates my handiwork, no one glowed with the excitement of discovering a new book they eagerly anticipated reading. For one weekend, I was not a stand-maker, or even a skateboarder/roller skater/snow-sports enthusiast. I was an author.

I’ve acclimated to my usual routine and find my work to be rewarding, not to mention well paying (which is important when there’re bills to pay). Did I break even and sell enough books to cover the costs I had incurred to be a vendor? Not quite. The business person in me can, however, justify the loss. For one, Amazon sales have risen, and after a quiet month of sales online, I can attribute the sales to those who learned about my book that weekend. Also, since I will soon release a third and later a fourth book, I’m hoping some of those who discovered my book will continue to read through the series.

Even without those items of justification, the bigger question to ask is, would I do it again? The answer will be easier to make again: Yes, I would!

Shortly after writing the first draft of this story, I received an email about the next show, informing me that vendor booths were available. I didn’t subject myself to the lengthy decision-making process the second time around. I purchased a booth and will be at the next show on June 16-18th, 2023.

Author update: I submitted the manuscript for my third book to my line editor in January and have been working with her to polish it. My confession is that I am super dependent on my line editor to help with the flow and the quality of writing. I liken the process to her waving a magic wand over the text to transform it into something that’s actually a joy to read.

I’m estimating May 1st as my release date for Godworld. Books one and two are available here. The greatest call to action I have for you besides checking them out is to consider leaving a review here. Reviews are not only helpful to authors and potential buyers, but they set the Amazon algorithmic cogs spinning, so it’s more likely Amazon will present my books to prospective buyers. Doing so would be super supportive of my writing!

And thanks for reading to the end! Here’s the prize for making it: (Boba Fett gave me goose bumps!)

The Process of Belief

I’m thrilled to announce that my sequel is out! (Although I’m about a month and a half late in posting this…)

I am again at the stage where I’m wondering how my work will be received. I’m not biting my nails as intensely as I was for Homeworld, but at this point, the only person who has read it and left a review is my dad. (Thanks, Dad!)

I’m also once again reminding myself of a quote from my aunt Kathy. It is something to the effect of: “You can’t always be sure of the outcome, but you can have faith in the process.” I know an author claiming to have written a pretty good book doesn’t carry a lot of weight, so instead, I will say, I have taken the steps to make the improvements to hopefully provide the reader with an enjoyable reading experience.

As always, I’m indebted to my editors. In fact, I dedicated book 2 to the three editors who helped to pull it together. I’ve written about my experience with content editing for book one at a point in its infancy when I faced two options: fix the jumbled mess or toss it. With the second book, the only option was putting in the work to get it up to snuff.

Neil Gaiman has said: “The process of doing your second draft is a process of making it look like you knew what you were doing all along.” I’d like to give additional advice: “Get your first draft written no matter how terrible it is, seek feedback from test readers, and keep improving it. Once it’s in the best shape you can get it into on your own, hire a developmental editor, and with their feedback, revise it to turn it into the book you want to share with the world.”

I hope readers of Homeworld will enjoy the exciting sequel, Revolution World!

Here’s a link to finding it on Amazon!
Thanks for reading!
-Philip

A friend’s a friend who knows what being a friend is.

I’ve been strategic about who I give books to, hoping to get reviews. My primary goal has been to find readers who actually read through books somewhat quickly and were well-seasoned readers. In some cases, that was more important than finding readers of my genre, because I didn’t want to wait too long for reviews. I also think that while my series is science fiction, it has some general appeal.

So out of fifteen review copies I ordered, I ended up with three that were extras. They had the “Not for sale” stripe across them, so they were not the most desirable to keep around or give to my parents or anything. The three copies just had nowhere to go.

I roller-skate once or twice per week with some friends who happen to be three exceptional people. Instead of wondering if giving the books away would produce any benefits down the line, like with potential reviews or recommendations, I thought it would be sweet to give the books to them. I didn’t know if they were avid readers (although one mentioned a while back he was excited for Asimov’s Foundation to be made into a show and that he had loved the book). I brought the three copies to a skate meetup to give to them, and they were instantly thrilled to see my name on the covers.

One of them asked me to sign her copy. I had signed no others since they were just review copies, and I had given them not as gifts but with the hope of reviews. I pulled out a pen and signed away. It felt glorious. Then she said, “Phil, you’re going to get rich with your books!”

I let them know that statistically, most authors of self-published books are lucky if they sell even a couple hundred copies in total.

She held her copy up. “Someday, this will be worth something!”

I smiled. “It’s just a review copy. See the stripe on the cover?”

“That will just make it worth more!”

My friends’ enthusiasm made my day. Then we got to skating, which is a coveted activity for me because once I’m skating, I’m no longer thinking about anything else. I totally forgot about everything in my life, including my writing that usually pervades much of my thoughts throughout pretty much every waking moment of every day—that is, unless I’m at the skate park.

Publishing a Book is Like Blowing Up the Death Star

So I’ve accomplished an impressive feat. My first novel is available on Amazon! I have to admit that it hasn’t been pure ecstasy. Yes, it’s huge for me, but I would describe my feelings a little differently than ecstatic. For one, it’s been a long journey, and also, my journey is really just beginning.

I imagine this feeling is like how some Star Wars characters may have felt when Luke destroyed the Death Star. Yes, it’s a cause for celebration, but was there really any other option than to blow it up (or publish the book)? The two times we’ve closed on houses, I felt a similar emotion. I was happy it happened, but truthfully, there wasn’t really any other option. I’d committed so much time and so many resources into the book, so it had to happen. Maybe I’m just a little numb by how much time, money, and work I’ve invested into it. Instead of ecstasy, I’d describe it as simply relieved.

To hold the five-and-a-half-inch by eight-and-a-half-inch product of all my labor in my hands is rewarding but also doubt-inducing. What if all of my work went into a book that’s actually not very good? To remedy this, I think of something my Aunt Kathy once said: “You can’t always be sure of the outcome, but you can have faith in the process.” (Or something to that effect.) I need to remind myself that I have pursued a process requiring a ton of work, which will hopefully lead to a decent book. The most important key to the improvement process has been to listen to feedback and put in the work to make changes. I’m also learning to review my writing with an increasingly critical eye.

Anyway, I’m hoping that my work will be well-received, but I am coaching myself to be fine if some dislike it. I wanted to share just a couple of lessons I learned in the final stages to get the book published.

1. While I’ve literally read my manuscript at least a hundred times, (I wish I carved a notch into my writing desk every time I read it) I would have liked to have read it twice more before submitting it to the formatter. My manuscript saw two editors after two rounds of developmental editing and revision. Those two were the line editor and a proofreader. After the final round, I approved their corrections, thought it was “done” and hurriedly sent it off to my formatter. A week or two later, the formatter sent the files, and I just browsed through, randomly reading a page here and there. I found things I wanted to change, but to change them meant listing them in an email and paying her to implement the changes. Once I found a few, I started at the beginning of the novel and really combed through it. The total list of changes came to forty-four, and her rate was reasonable because she included some changes in the price of the formatting job, so it was worthwhile.

When I received my review paperbacks, I really thought the book was finally done. On page nine, I found a minor typo, one that maybe no one would notice. I marked it then made it to page seventeen and found something that wasn’t a typo, but that I wanted to change. I marked it as well, not sure if at that point, I had a good reason to bug my formatter with more corrections. Once I finished reading the entire book, I had a list of thirty-six changes, seven of which were actually typos or errors. These cost a bit more to have her implement, but it was worth every penny to have it done. While there’s never any guarantee that there aren’t more typos, I feel content with how finely I combed for them.

2. During my upload to Amazon, I only made one mistake, which was to list the age appropriateness in an optional box. I figured teens could read my book as it’s pretty clean. I selected 13-18. Once my preorder was live, I shared a link with an acquaintance on Facebook who said it looked like it was a children’s book. I checked, and sure enough, there was a logo that looked like a kid with a bowl-cut haircut and it said 13-18. I’ve edited the details of the book on Amazon, but could not delete that field. It’s now set at 18-18 so now it looks like a kid’s book for 18-year-olds. I’ve just reached out to tech support to delete that selection entirely.

Those are my two big lessons, so I’m considering myself lucky. I’ve heard way worse stories of people accidentally locking up their Amazon accounts and delaying their release. For the next book, which is hot on the heels of the first, (it’s with the line editor now) I’m going to print the finished version and bind it at Kinko’s then take my time to read it with a red pen in hand. Also, next time, I will steer clear of that children’s-age-range box!

Thanks for reading, and here are a few updates:

Here’s a link to Purchase HOMEWORLD.

You can now sign up for my mailing list on my website! (It’s a feature that was a challenge to figure out! Thanks, Yesca!) I’m really only going to be sending out emails when I’ve got big news so it won’t be a barrage. Sign up for my mailing list here.

As I mentioned above, I have submitted book two, REVOLUTION WORLD, for line editing. It saw some much-needed revisions, with the input from my incomparable content editor, Alyssa! (Thank you for being awesome!) I’m hoping book two’s release date will be June 1st, 2022!

The third book, GODWORLD, which I haven’t so much as peeked at for the last couple of years (I wrote four books before focusing on polishing them) is a pleasure to read and revise. It’s due for its first content edit on May 27th, and I hope it will be published by November. Then I’ll have the trilogy available for the holidays!

Thanks for reading, and if you made it this far, you’ve earned my eternal gratitude! I will also be eternally grateful for any reviews readers post for HOMEWORLD. I’ve been a little pushy about reviews, but think of it this way: My book is my baby, and the best way to ensure its bright future is with reviews! (Well-done covers and editing are crucial too!) THANKS! -Philip

Renewed Faith in Humanity

On a Friday evening, I checked the mailbox to find a bill for our new mortgage saying it was past due. I had set up an auto payment program two months earlier that still had not begun making payments, resulting in an overdue payment with late fees. All weekend long, I knew that I had to take care of this mistake.

Monday came, and it was time to clear this up. On my way to the bank, I chose to take the more direct but slower-paced route through the neighborhood. On the last leg, as I approached the largest intersection of my route, I saw a bicycle parked on the snowy sidewalk, leaning against a brick retaining wall. It wasn’t just any bike; it was a Surly extended cargo bicycle with a large rear rack. And it was white. I have a buddy who owns an orange one, and both his kids practically grew up on it, probably being passengers on its rack more often than in a car.

I instantly knew that this wasn’t the kind of bike that an owner would park and leave, but I didn’t think fast enough, or have enough space on the road to pull over. I decided to go to the bank then return to see if it was still there.

After an unsatisfactory resolution at the bank, (it apparently was my fault that I didn’t keep making payments during the time it was taking to process the automatic payment program) I returned to see the bike still parked there.

My excitement at finding this bike was only slightly dashed by my bank experience (especially the late fee of $43.87 that they refused to waive) and the slushy snow that instantly soaked through my shoes (I had worn the wrong shoes for my outing). Still, the bike was amazing. Huge fat tires, on such a neat looking frame that had an extended design to allow for a massive rear rack.

My feet got more soaked and cold with every step as I rolled the bicycle toward my van. A huge chain wrapped in a heavy duty fabric sleeve interfered with the pedals as I rolled it. I knew the bike had been lifted off some sort of pole or post to which it had been locked. I had to pull everything out of my van and fold down the rear seats to make space for the bike, which barely fit.

Once it was in, the thought occurred to me that the owner might be in the neighborhood looking for it. I went to Trader Joe’s to see if they had any cardboard boxes. Their bin was empty, so I grabbed a paper bag. My plan was to Sharpie a “found” message on it with my phone number and, with some rocks to weigh it down, place it at the site where I found the bike. With all the winter storm weather, I thought a sturdy card board box would be better than the brown paper bag. I saw a dumpster beside a Subway sandwich store, and dove in to retrieve three medium sized boxes.

Standing at my car with feet still cold and soaked, I wrote out three messages and added a drawing of the bike on each. I drove back and placed one box at the site of discovery, and the other two at opposite corners.

I had a few other errands on my list, but I decided to head home instead. Once home, I called around to bike shops to find that only two shops in town are dealers of Surly bikes. The owner of one of those shops recommended I post it on the lost and found section of Craigslist. When I logged onto Craigslist and clicked “create a posting” there was no category for a lost and found. I went back to the home page to look at all the categories. There was a community section with a lost and found section.

The very first entry had the listing: Surly Big Fat Dummy Bike Taken (St. Vincents Hospital). I instantly knew this was the bike because the hospital was just a couple blocks away from where I had found it. I clicked and the posting read, “My white Surly cargo bike was stolen from the main entrance to St. Vincents Hospital on Monday morning at 10:53, Jan 3, 2022. Reward. No questions asked. Please help me get my bike back. I will make it worth your while. Again, no questions asked.”

I called the number and the voice sounded happy but shocked, like he couldn’t believe someone had actually found his bike. I asked him what type of lock was looped to the frame, and he described it perfectly. I thought the security measure was pretty unnecessary, but it confirmed without a doubt that it was his bike. He explained, “I know it’s just a bike, but I was so heartbroken to walk out of the hospital to see it gone. I’d lost all my faith in humanity.”

I told him about my friend who carts his kids around on his, and the man, Richard, said the saddest part about losing the bike was that it was a big part his kids’ childhoods.

As I drove to his part of town to deliver the bike, I debated whether or not I would accept any sort of cash reward. Part of me felt like all of this had taken a good chunk out of my day, and the round trip to deliver it would be about thirty minutes. For some reason, I thought about what the main character of my stories would do. Her name is Abigail Montrose, and she is so idealistic that it sometimes becomes a fault. She would definitely never accept reward money for a good deed.

I thought that if I was in a more precarious financial situation, then, yes, it would make sense to accept a reward. After debating it during the drive, I decided to decline any reward. Richard was older than I am, a more full head of hair but completely grey. Our dogs played in the snow while we talked.

Once the bike was parked on his front door step, he reached into his pocket. “I promised to make it worth your while..”

I shook my head and smiled. “I think having a story to tell is worth more than any amount of money. I’m fine without a reward.”

His eyebrows raised. “Maybe instead of thinking of it as a reward for the bike, you can consider it a reward for your kindness and effort to return the bike.”

I decided to stay firm. “I really don’t need a reward. I know how special that bike is, and it really made my day to find it and return it.”

Before leaving he mentioned again how having his bike stolen from the front of the hospital really was a shock that had caused him to lose all faith in humanity. He added, “But you’ve restored my faith in humanity.”

If you’re new to this blog and want to subscribe to hear about my progress in publishing my new trilogy of YA science fiction, then hit the follow button. Thanks!

Do You Need A Developmental Editor? (My Experiences With a Content Edit)

After finishing the first draft of my first novel back in 2017, I sent it to a few test readers and wasted no time in tackling a sequel. (I had heard that the best way to improve writing skills is to write more books, and also the best way to market a book is to write many.) I have kept this cycle going so that I now have a series of four complete manuscripts. The problem this created for me is that once I had completed the fourth novel, I thought books three and four showed some promise of actually being pretty good while book one was such a mess that I couldn’t figure out how to fix it no matter how much I tried to revise it on my own. I knew book two had some pretty big issues as well.

This dilemma would keep me up at night—no one would ever continue to read books three and four if the first couple were real stinkers. The best remedy for this predicament was to hire a developmental editor. I scheduled a Content Edit with Red Adept Editing, and my manuscript found its way to Alyssa Hall, who helped turn my shiny turd of a story into an actual novel. I called it that because I kept trying to revise and shine it up while it had some major issues and needed a serious overhaul.

I absolutely could not have addressed all the flaws without Alyssa’s extensive edit. She pointed out so many issues that it would be hard to list them all, but here were some major ones:

POV (Point of View) issues like head hopping and more described below
Showing vs. telling
Summarizing instead of showing in current-time scenes
Info dumps
Talking heads dialog
Redundant telling
Information that did not advance or add to the story (and needed to be cut)
Plot holes
A romantic subplot that just fizzled out and ended early on without any development

Like I said, it was a real mess. The POV issues alone were challenging to fix. I had shifted frequently from trying to write in a third person limited to an omniscient point of view. I did switch POVs sometimes in a chapter, which is head hopping, and I didn’t always chose the best character to be the POV for each chapter. I also had way too many POVs. Alyssa recommended adding more thoughts and feelings of the POV character which also enriched the story dramatically. Sticking strictly with a limited or close POV and understanding how to properly use that narrative style really improved my storytelling.

Alyssa combed through my manuscript with diligence and provided invaluable insight. Her content edit included a twenty-six-page document of notes, and she sent back my manuscript with sections highlighted and accompanied by sideline notes. I printed both documents and spiral bound them so I could flip through to see what issues I needed to address.

To be honest, reading the edits was shocking and daunting. I’ve heard this advice given: Read through an edit and let it percolate for a few days before beginning to revise and rewrite. I spent a week reading through and pondering how I would make some of the larger changes. Then I got to work. I had some wide-scoped changes in mind, but I narrowed my focus to chapter one, then progressed a chapter at a time. Once I addressed and remedied an issue listed in the bound notes, I drew a big red check next to it.

The content edit notes and my MS with sideline notes

I spent forty solid days, rewriting and revising (while I still worked my day job) to meet a deadline to send it to a line editor—an appointment we eventually pushed back so Alyssa could perform an additional Beta Read to give feedback on the new material in the novel. During those forty days, my word count jumped from 50,500 words to 96,670! (And part of my revision was to cut quite a few chapters.)

The end result is a manuscript that I’m proud of and think is worth sharing. A great byproduct of this experience is that now I feel like there’s an editor sitting on my shoulder while I’m reading my work. I constantly ask myself questions like, And how does this make my POV character feel?

I would highly recommend most every author send their project in for this type of editing because it brings a new pair of eyes that can detect so many issues that a writer may not realize exist. I feel like the concepts I wanted to convey in my story are now more clear and understandable, and my novel will be more entertaining for others to read.

I just recently heard a host on the Writing Excuses podcast say that a good editor helps to make a better version of the story the writer is trying to tell, which is totally true of my experience.

One of the things I would like to thank Alyssa for is pointing out the endearing aspects of my book even in its rough form. Just a little bit of positive feedback went a very long way for me to put the effort into fixing a leaky sinking ship of a novel. Thank you, Alyssa, and thank you, Lynn at Red Adept for running an excellent business. (Check out their neat Project Estimator here.)

Book two is due for its Content Edit on Feb 5th, and I’ve put some work into it so hopefully it’s less of a pain to read. I’ve taken care to cut the head hopping and POV issues, (I hope) but if there are issues, I am lucky to have found someone who will let me know.

Butters modeling for a shot of my writing cave that can be closed up to hide the clutter!

Thanks for reading, and please follow this blog because this next year is going to be filled with exciting developments, (cover reveal, etc.) and I will post them here!

Pandemic Routines

Tiger Lily loves evening story time.

We’ve been adapting to a different life these days during the pandemic, and I wanted to share some writing experiences I’ve had during our own real life episode of Black Mirror. I already work from home, so long stretches of staying home hasn’t been something new for me, but having my wife home all the time does change my routine. I am able to write when she’s around, but I generally like to write when I have the house to myself. Before the pandemic, I was a morning writer, starting when she left for work. Now I’m just finding windows here and there which makes it seem less like a daily routine.


The biggest discovery I wanted to share (and that I may not have discovered if it weren’t for the pandemic) is the useful editing tool of reading my story out loud. It’s common advice to read your work aloud to hear how it sounds, but reading to an audience is even better (and slightly more terrifying). I have printed and bound my manuscripts so they are easy to flip through, and I keep a pencil handy for scribbling notes and corrections on each page. (See above photo.) Every morning, I go to my computer to make the changes I discovered the need for during “story time” the previous night.


The very first problem I ascertained when reading out loud was my story’s clunky dialog. So much of it sounded like something a person would never actually say. A lack of contractions was really noticeable too. We generally use a lot of contractions in our speech. It has been invaluable to see where I need to explain more thoroughly and where I need to shave down unnecessary details. I am also finding so many typos that I’ve missed on countless self-edits.


Another important hurdle that reading my story out loud has helped me to conquer is facing the question of, “Is this story good enough?” I think part of the problem with writing is wondering if anyone will read and enjoy what I’m writing. The fact that my wife is willing to listen and wants to hear more every evening is a boost for sure.


These are tough times because, although we may have more spare time if work slows down or becomes nonexistent, we may not be as productive as we would like. Not working has created the illusion that we should be extra productive when it comes to writing. I’ve heard advice saying, “Don’t beat your self up if you’re not being productive. Just take care of yourself.” I need to reminded myself of this because I am very productivity-driven.


My goal before and during the pandemic has been to write a thousand words each day, which isn’t a huge number, but it does add up, especially if I write everyday. I keep a writing log to document my word count, and while I don’t beat myself up if I come up short, I am pretty content when I hit that thousand words per day.


The “Just take care of yourself” advice is helpful to remember—all the basics like getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising. At first I suffered from being scattered with a lack of structure when I was doing whatever I felt like, but now I’m trying harder to stick to a daily routine.


I’ve heard other people mention they are appreciating some of the simpler things in life right now, and I definitely can relate. Cuddling with the dog or cat is part of my daily routine, and every meal seems like a gift when acquiring a load of groceries feels like going out to hunt a mammoth.


I hope everyone is doing well and feeling a sense of hope that we are getting through this. There are brighter days ahead, and I think I’ll read some of what I’ve created during this pandemic and feel happy that I accomplished something more than binge watching The Expanse.(I’m on season three and love it!) Thanks for reading!
All the best, Philip

Napping with Butters is part of my daily routine!
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